unblock the block-the re-discovered simplicity

It was like meeting her for the first time…again. Febuary, this lonley little month i had never before paid much attention to, was to become a month filled with sum of the happiest memories to date.
A month in wich i let all my troubles go & started feeling & hearing the music again.
Ironic, how it would be the same month I lost all feeling in my hands, torso & legs, due to a sudden illness rendering me numb & almost paralised & then finding out i have a tumor in my upper spine.
a strange thing karma is, but oddly preictable in hindsight. Everthing has an equal….for everyhing good, there is an equal bad.

If this is true….then i still have alot of bad coming my way……because she is the best thing to have ever happened to me.
But I stand here, prepared for every little bit of it. willing to take it all on…..until i stand no more & no air passes thru these lungs. Until evry bleeding scar has bled out onto the floor beneath me & every one of my thoughts become the memories of those i leave behind.

Urgh! Not another pathetic declaration of love from a hopelessly lovestruck fool. I know! What does this have to do with music? with me? with us?
This tale is nothing of new. We have heard, spoken, felt & lived it all before. It comes & goes like the changing of the seasons. From summer to winter, like happy to sad.
But sumtimes, very rarley, we are given the oppertunity to look into our own souls thru the souls of others.
Sum of us, sumtimes ignore the oppertunity when it arrives. Others, few lunge at it & turn it into sumthing that define their lives.
I humbled & proud to know that i am one of those few.
To have met the right soul at the right time. I thank the stars that put me on this path. It was on this path that i met her.

The groove to my beat. The melody to my hook. The swing in my funk & The rythem in my soul.

Music obsesses me! So much so, that at times it becomes unbearable. Very rarley finding a calm moment within my thoughts.
She has given me the calm & focus I have been searching for, for so long. I feel like this stormy ocean in my mind has become a calm lake. I see things more clearly nw then ever before. Almost everything is in its place. I know what i want, what i need & what i have to do now.

You are that sumthing i lost so long ago & have been searching for ever since.
Thank you for giving me ur heart, so i never again go off tempo.
Thank you for letting me reside in  ur soul, where no sound or thought  escapes me.